Sunday, August 15, 2010

On a personal note...

So. Maybe this is too much information but it's on my mind a LOT right now. I am having a breast reduction in less than three weeks. As the time draws nearer, I'm feeling nervous about it, but not so much that I won't go ahead. I've been planning to do it for a long time, and waited only so my boys could have the benefit of breast milk.

In the immediate sense my concerns are around hiring someone to help out with the lifting of and playing with the kids, meal preparation and cleaning in the weeks following the surgery. The doctor says it will be about fourteen days before I can pick up my boys and I don't want to jeapordize my recovery by doing anything I shouldn't. In the meantime I'm trying to stock up on groceries and prepare easy meals I can freeze ahead.

On a more personal level, I've started having amusing - ahem - dreams about being back in junior high school enduring the taunts of my classmates. My "decolletage" arrived early and it definitely changed my life - how I felt about myself and how others treated me. Would I change things if I could go back? Hell yes, on a few different levels. I suppose that's the human condition, though, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

If I can accomplish anything at all while recovering from surgery, I hope I will be able to type because I feel a story coming together. I think girls have such a rough go of it where the transition from girlhood to womanhood is concerned. So much projection to process, from the media, the community, and their peers. These days it's even harder with the obesity epidemic at an all-time high and coinciding with the height of anorexia in Hollywood and the fahion industries. What to do?

I plan to write a piece that examines my own experience growing up (and out, as nature would have it), what it's like for girls in a broader sense and the experience of my surgery and recovery. Should be a doozy.
Here's hoping I can find the time to get it written! Please, universe, let my children sleep through the night, just once...