Friday, June 25, 2010

Me, Myself and the Insomniac...

It's 4:08 AM. I can't sleep.

It's not for lack of trying. The scene from last night is something like this:

My husband and I, bagged and sweaty from a long hot day, manage to be in bed at about 9:40. He is
sound asleep by 10 and snoring away.

I lay on my side next to him, reading my David Sedaris book and slowly accepting that I was going to have to get up for a while and hope my brain would shut off a bit later. Before I leave the bedroom I think about what I might do while I'm up. I grab the Windex from our bathroom, remembering that the pets are asleep in the laundry room, and if I wake them up I wake everyone up.
Got up, donned the husband's pajama pants and tee and grabbed my book & the windex. On my way down the stairs I quietly clean the milk spatters of the windows on our landing. Upon arriving in the kitchen I am reminded of the three postcards I picked up from the mailbox on the way home; they are from my closest friend and a delight to read. I write three in response and then sit down for a budgeting and online banking session. After an hour or so I mix up half a neocitran and head back up to bed.

I lie there, and my husband snores. I think about the window we left open in our one-year old's bedroom and the likelihood he's thrown off his blankets, as usual. Every time I start to drift off, something wakes me. A vision of my three year-old standing at the edge of a cliff. Tim rolling over. The drapes brushing against the window as a breeze blows in. After another hour I give up and get up again.

On the bright side, I've now done most of the cleaning for the day ahead, made my lists and planned my meals, which should ensure me an afternoon nap. The kids will rest after lunch, and so will I.

Why can't I switch off this brain? Because I am fortunate enough to be juggling two beautiful kids and a house I can't quite keep up with. There is always something else to do, or another errand to be run...and this way, while I will be exhausted beyond belief as the kids and I plod through our morning, at least I will be able to rest assured I have started the day, for once, prepared. Well, we'll see how I feel about that in an hour when our three year-old wakes just as I've finally drifted off for the first time, all night.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's day blitz!

Today is both father's day and my husband's birthday, so it's been a busy one. I wish I had time for a nap!

Got up at six with the kids and my three year-old was being a menace from the get-go...hitting his little brother, stealing his toys and hurling his breakfast to the floor just as I was trying to decorate Daddy's cake! By the time Tim came downstairs, I was in tears. What can I say but it's the worst possible timing for my PMS to show up!

Griffin insisted that Daddy open all his gifts the second he got up, so I made him a coffee and we watched him grin happily while the boys clambered all over him, decorating themselves with ribbons and bows.

Took a few moments to splash my face and put on some mascara and pulled off a pretty sweet brunch. My Dad and Stepmom joined us and we had a blast! Forgot to take a picture but it was the weekend breakfast we usually avoid for the ridiculous calorie count - the works with fresh orange juice, bacon, eggs, waffles, strawberries, and of course real maple syrup. I can't say all these things were totally local, but that's a mission I will have to take on slowly while I wait for my garden capacity to expand with our move in the coming year. In that spirit, though, we finished up our coffee and headed to the local farmer's market, Jan coming with me and the kids and Dad joining Tim for a rip in his fast car. We were a bit late & missed out on a few of the best produce items but still scored some delicious garlic scapes, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cucumber, salsa and flowers.

In the coming weeks I am going to be reworking my weekly schedule; while my mandate here is to come up with a system that "works" in the management of my household, I should really qualify that with the resounding statement that so far I am not succeeding! There is ALWAYS a pile of laundry taunting me from behind closed doors, or a puddle of pee interrupting my attempts to leave the house in a tidy state before we dash out only to arrive late at any given appointment, or bills to pay or phone calls to return...

It may be a long road ahead, but I am determined to find a balance that allows me to keep happy kids, a clean home and still have time for the cooking, writing and art that I love! It may sound impossible, but I have this theory: with wine at proper intervals, anything is possible.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Rainy Sunday

(Please feel free to post comments and feedback!)

Had an active morning with the kids as the husband is off dirtbiking today.
It started pouring just as I was loading the kids into the double stroller for a run...six kilometres later we were pretty wet (they have a canopy, of course). Went to the farmer's market anyway thinking it would be deserted or possibly closed and it was bustling! The kids got a cookie and we made off with some tomato, cress & herb plants, a cute little blueberry pie, some homemade salsa & apple butter, and a beautiful bag of mixed greens. Forgot to get eggs or meat because we were drenched and needed to get home to warm up.

We stopped for some pediatric advil on the way home because our little one is teething big-time and then I got the boys home for lunch and a warm bath, milk and naps! It's been a workout and a half.

Can't wait to plant my tomatoes and watercress, but it's still raining so I suppose I really have no choice but to run a hot bath and make some tea while the kids snooze soundly.

Sigh (I love this life).

Friday, June 4, 2010

The kids are asleep!

It is Friday night and my chilren are resting peacefully.

That rolls off the tongue so fluidly, so naturally, and yet...With a three year-old who's afraid of the dark (even when it's still light out) and a one year-old in the throes of teething hell, it's a rarity these days.

Now, the sound of my husband's fight on the television, my black cat's silhouette in my periphery and the feel of my still-toasty, post-bath, tuckered carcass are the only things commanding my attention. My husband's eyelids look heavy as he watches his show, and I know we won't last the length of a movie if we start one. It's already 9:21.

This is life right now. Ten years ago the party might have just been getting started and the thought of crawling into bed this early would have seemed ridiculous. But in eight hours or so, one of the boys will wake up. We will change a diaper or two, put our youngest back to bed, and our oldest will end up in our bed, burrowed between us as we steal an extra 20 or 30 minutes of intermittent sleep...

There is nowhere I'd rather be.